flügel: wings

Red Bull give you wings.

And Red Bull....basically owns Salzburg.

Therefore, Salzburg gives you wings.

Riiiiiiight?

SAIL.

Just one of the many lessons I learned this past week in Salzburg, Austria. 

Salzburg is known for two things:

1) Mozart's birth place 

and 2) The Sound of Music filming location 

The Red Bull thing is lesser known, but that doesn't make it any less prevalent. All of the stores had Red Bull. All of the restaurants, too. 

Was everyone playing Mozart? Nope. 

Does Mozart have his own world? Nope. 

But Red Bull does:

It's real life. 

So, what else did I learn in Salzburg? 

1) They have a statue of Abe Lincoln reading a book...and riding a horse. It's like Chuck Norris meets the Old Spice guy, who does that?! 

And that's why he was president. Skill. 

But it's Austria. So why do they care about Abe Lincoln? Therefore, the statue is in the middle of a forrest, were no one can see it. 

Because that makes sense. 

2) The Sound of Music was fairly inaccurate

But no less adorable or classic. 

At the beginning of the movie, Maria's chillin' on the Untersberg mountain. 

You're ready to break into song, aren't you?

Here's the mountain: 

Photo cred: Me

Here's town: 

Photo cred: Also me

And the red dome on the left is the abbey she would have been running to. 

So she went from the top of the mountain, down the mountain, back up the mountain to grab her hat, and then down again to come flying into the abbey three minutes later. 

Looks like Maria may have had wings, too. 

Go Red Bull. 

And then, at the end of the movie, Maria and the Captain and the kids were hiking over the mountain to run away from the Nazis, right? Well....

They were going the wrong way. 

AKA, make it over that mountain, and you're in Germany. 

Awkward.

3) Flight or fight is real life 

Sun was setting and it was getting dark. We were headed back to our hostel. 

Crazy guy got on bus. We are talking legitimately crazy guy, ok? 

Yeah. Well...

And Dusti and I are looking at each other like "Girl, do you see this?" 

Enter drunk guy. 

So drunk guy starts screaming at crazy guy...and Dusti and I are about to break a window to get off the bus. 

Our stop comes. 

We get off immediately. 

We hear yelling behind us, in our general direction. 

Where they yelling at us? 

I don't know. 

But we weren't going to hang around to find out. 

And we freaking took off running AT A DEAD SPRINT. 

RUN FORREST RUN.

Were cars coming? 

......maybe.....

But the other side of the street meant being away from crazy/drunk, so off we went. 

Then we were power walking away, and made the mistake of turning around to see if anyone was following us.

We thought we saw one of the other women on the bus running. 

SO WE RAN AGAIN. 

So here we are, yelling at each other to stay out of the line of sight (...because suddenly we are 007...), and we passed Jessica, a girl staying in our room at the hostel, taking a lovely evening walk with her boyfriend. 

Jessica: "Run, girls, run!"

Me: "NO, CRAZY PEOPLE."

*Kept running* 

Did we stop to tell her what happened? 

No. 

Did we care?

No. 

Were we in fact the crazy people?

Yes. Yes, yes we were. 

At least the receptionist at the hostel thought so when we came busting in, breathless and panting like dogs.

Sometimes...you just gotta be better safe than sorry!  

And last, but not least...

4) Converse can climb mountains (specifically the Untersberg)

Because if Maria can do it in three minutes, so can you! That's what Climb Every Mountain is about, isn't it? Granted, we used a cable car, and then we hiked, buuuuut you get the picture. 

In other news, I am fairly convinced that my roommates do not exist, and I am also convinced that Europe is THE place to be (unless at the actual venue) to watch the World Cup. I went to a watch party at the university last night for the Germany Ghana game....watching geysers of beer shoot up from the crowd as people threw their hands up to celebrate goals was absolutely priceless. 

Off to Switzerland tomorrow! 

kendall 

entdeckungen: discoveries

Everything I know is a lie.

Grocery shopping, laundry, all other mundane actives--they are easy, right? Commonplace. Universal.  Everyone does those things.

But everyone does them differently. Really differently.

And it's confusing. 

Like:

Grocery shopping.

They lock the carts up.
Can I unlock one? Do I have to pay for one? What do I do, do I just return it after I'm finished shopping and lock it with the others? Why are they locked in the first place? Where are the grocery baskets? Oh...those aren't a thing? Oh.

The bread slicer.
It's way cheaper to buy a loaf of day old, "freshly" made bread than the pre sliced sandwich bread. It's great. But...

HOW DOES THIS WORK? I don't know. And if I don't know, I sure as heck am not going to try, because a bread slicer involves knives, and blades, and other sharp instruments that could slice me instead of the bread. And the nice little info graph next to it isn't informative enough for me. Or my scared fingers.

Checkout.
Congratulations, you've managed to buy your food and not get yelled at in German!
Stand in line.
Pay for food.
Wait for bagging.
Wait for bagging.
Wait...they don't bag for you? You need your own bag? Oh....
Thank you, Momma Cruise, for giving me a heads up on that one. My handy dandy fold up bag saved my little behind.

Not an option. Therefore: must get food.

Laundry.

I DONT KNOW WHAT THE INFO GRAPH IS SAYING WHY IS THE WASHER SO SMALL WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE FOR ONE LOAD WAH.

Laundry finishes.

Now to dry the clothes....wait.
Dryers don't exist.

Congratulations, you now have wet clothes for the next 3 days while they attempt to dry on your hammock hanging gear cuz you are too cheap to buy a clothesline.

And you thought I was kidding. I wasn't. 

Crossing the street.

Help! I need somebody!

The little man is red. But there aren't any cars coming.

So I can go, right?
Right?

FALSE they ticket in Germany. Technically they can in the US as well, and I've seen it happen...like twice...buuuuuuuut...usually you're fine...riiiiiight? Maybe illegal, buuuuuuut......

Eating a bratwurst.

Oh I'm so excited to try a German brat--WAIT.

Where's the bun? It's...tiny.

We've been doing hotdogs all wrong, folks. The Germans know what's up: hard rolls hold your brat, and it's smooth sailing from there. Unless you put too much mustard on it. Then you gotta be watching to make sure it doesn't slide off. There's no bun to protect you on this one.

Oh, and apparently Germans can't say squirrel..but, squirrels can't say German, so I think it's ok. Check it out.

Like I said, my world has been rocked...and it's only week one.

kendall

99 probleme: 99 problems

Picture, if you will....

A stereotypical, American man cave.

^^^The deluxe version^^^

There's probably beer.
Music playing.
A video game or two.
Some sports on.
And boys. There must be boys for the man cave to truly be a man cave.

Now. Put the same scene in Germany.

Lederhosen, ready! 

Take away the video games. And the sports, because the World Cup hasn't started yet.
As for the music, make it an electronic, jazz mash-up.
And make sure that wimpy American six pack is replaced by a 24-bottle crate that's half empty.

Yep. 

Welcome to my apartment.

It's not bad at all. I'm just...living with a guy.
And he has a man cave.
And it's real life.
And I think it's really, really entertaining.

I've only seen my roommate once. But his friends, his friends I have seen on their pilgrimages from man cave to beer source.

No matter where you are, at the very core, some things are just fundamentally consistent across cultures.

Like music. Music's a big one.

I have yet to hear any songs sung in German.
Sure, my roommates' electronic jazz didn't come from the states (...right...?), but any music I've heard with words has been American music.

I've heard Katy Perry a couple of times.

She's after the German's own hearts

The Backstreet Boys have been a popular choice.

They are touring Germany while I'm here....hmmmm....

Even Jay-Z has been played.

Don't mess.

But here's the best part:

We're in Germany.
So "bad words" in English don't have the same power here. They're just words.

Which means that when you're walking in the toy section of Müller's (the German love child of Walmart and Walgreens) and Jay-Z screams "I've got 99 problems but a b*#&h ain't one", no one bats an eye.

Minus the shocked American who is questioning whether or not this is real life.

And then when Backstreet Boys proclaims just which way they want it, only the American is rockin' out.

And I'm not sure if the sexual innuendoes in some of Katy Perry's stuff makes sense to anyone else. Or if the songs make sense at all.

Wait what?

Tragedy.

tschau,

kendall

inneren gedanken: inner thoughts

So. 

I've traveled internationally before, but never by myself. Because I was by myself and the guy next to me did not speak English, I kept all of my observations throughout the day to myself. 

Until now. Therefore, I give you...

Thoughts People Have While Flying Internationally

1. “DUTY FREE! Must. Go. Buy. Or at least I should look...”

Because, let’s be honest, your trip from abroad is simply not complete unless you buy a bottle of perfume TAX FREE.

2. “Please don’t let the baby be sitting next to me”

Nothing against the cute little tikes, but here’s the thing—you don’t know what kind of flight style the mini human has.

They could be a silent sleeper, and be totally fine the whole time.

They could still be mystified by the sound of their own voice, and therefore babble constantly for the next 11 hours.

Or, they could really be bent on seeing how much Mom and Dad love them by spending the next 14 hours screaming, crying, wailing, and otherwise showing their discontentment to the entire airplane. 

For example....on my flight, a young mother behind me with a wailing baby ordered two Bloody Mary's. For herself. That's a sign of utter defeat right there. 

^^^What that poor woman dealt with

If a baby cries, you cry. Are you willing to make that gamble? 

3. “Are those donut neck things actually comfortable?”

Or are they in actually the human’s version of the Cone of Shame?

4. “Is this inflight movie really appropriate for all audiences?”

Because all I see are cars blowing up and scantily clad women cheering in the back. Far cry from Frozen, if you ask me.

5. “Sir, your chair is not broken, THOSE ARE MY KNEES STOP RECLINING PLEASE.”

I feel like reclining is really just an awkward stand off between you and the person in front of you to see just how long you’re willing to avoid the invasion of your space.

Don't you realize how much you suck?

6. “How do you say ‘I’m sorry’/’Pardon me’/’Thank you’/’I need to go to the bathroom’ in [insert language here]?”

Because we all know the awkward nodding, pointing, and less-than-sufficient facial expressions sometimes just aren’t enough.

7. “I wonder what they’re doing in First Class.”

Because the lives of the rich and privileged are always a point of interest, especially when they have bed type structures and rumored access to champagne.

Peasants.

8. “Are we there yet?”

Because, deep down, you know that that’s the only thing on everyone’s mind

In other news....I'm rooming with a Romanian girl and a German boy (sounds like a bad joke, once you toss in the clueless American, amiright?). 

The shower is a three feet by three feet cube, so I think it's safe to say I'll be an amateur contortionist by the time I get done with my two months here. Shaving my legs is no joke.   

Annnnnnnd I killed a spider ALL BY MYSELF today in my apartment. And, to me, that's the ultimate sign of maturity. 

Annnnnnnnnnd Google is now in German and I am really, really confused. 
Just a day in the life. 

Gute Nacht from Erfurt, 
kendall 

wesentliche: essentials

I should have been sleeping when I wrote this the other night.

But instead, I was beginning my obligatory pre-trip freak out.

Thank you, Kristen Wiig, for overdramatizing my feelings.

Let me break it down for you.

I'm one of three OU students with this program. Besides us, there are eight or so students from the University of West Virginia, the University of Texas at Austin (horns down cough cough), and some students from Canada (eh?).

And then, of course, a bunch of German students.

It sounds like a bad joke, right?

We have class Friday afternoon, all day Saturday, and all day Sunday.

Other than that, it's your party and you can do what you want.

Kinda like Miley, but less....less. 

So, naturally, I've got a lot of questions.

Where will I be traveling?
Who will I be going with?
Where will we stay?
How will we get there?
What will we eat?
What will we do there?
Should I bring my homework?
Wait, how do you say "where is the bathroom?"
Why am I not bilingual?

And so on.

So in my effort to "let it go"

Just when you got that song out of your head...

I've complied a list of the things I have that will help me along this adventure.

1) A Visual Display of 'Merican Pride

What's the World Cup without an OFFICIAL TEAM USA SCARF?!

2) Bed Bug Begone
Behold, my bed bug guard. I ain't lettin' those bed bugs bite, no sir.

I look like a nun

3) Backpack, backpack!

Imma need one of those map guys, too.

I got myself a pretty rad backpack (not as cool Dora's Backpack, but...) for when I am legitimately backpacking across Europe in the thirteen days I have off between my first and second class.

4) Portable clothesline

The internet's definition of a clothesline. 

Cuz Europeans do not believe in dryers.

5) My computer

For communicating with loved ones back home. And doing school work. But mostly blogging.

6) Boyd.

Cuz even if I don't make any friends, I can take comfort in knowing that the plastic bunny I bought off Amazon will still love me.

7) Meal Replacement Shake Mixes

Because if I prove totally incapable of providing my own nourishment for the duration of this trip, I can fall back on some water and powder to sustain me.

8) My hammock
Cuz if that hostel doesn't live up to its rating (or it does), the bug suit may not be enough.

Hiding. 

9) My water bottle

I've already dragged it around Italy, what's a few more countries? 

Cuz even when I'm casually looking out over the city...I'm hydrated. 

10) My sense of adventure 

Me, circa 2008

Because I've never not wanted to travel the world...now it's just a matter of trusting the process and going for it. 

I leave Sunday! Here's to safe travels and avoiding the snorers on the flight.

Bis bald (see you soon),

kendall