So.
I've traveled internationally before, but never by myself. Because I was by myself and the guy next to me did not speak English, I kept all of my observations throughout the day to myself.
Until now. Therefore, I give you...
Thoughts People Have While Flying Internationally
1. “DUTY FREE! Must. Go. Buy. Or at least I should look...”
Because, let’s be honest, your trip from abroad is simply
not complete unless you buy a bottle of perfume TAX FREE.
2. “Please don’t let the baby be sitting next to me”
Nothing against the cute little tikes, but here’s the
thing—you don’t know what kind of flight style the mini human has.
They could be a silent sleeper, and be totally fine the
whole time.
They could still be mystified by the sound of their own
voice, and therefore babble constantly for the next 11 hours.
Or, they could really be bent on seeing how much Mom and Dad
love them by spending the next 14 hours screaming, crying, wailing, and
otherwise showing their discontentment to the entire airplane.
For example....on my flight, a young mother behind me with a wailing baby ordered two Bloody Mary's. For herself. That's a sign of utter defeat right there.
^^^What that poor woman dealt with
If a baby cries, you cry. Are you willing to make that gamble?
3. “Are those donut neck things actually comfortable?”
Or are they in actually the human’s version of the Cone of Shame?
4. “Is this inflight movie really appropriate for all
audiences?”
Because all I see are cars blowing up and scantily clad
women cheering in the back. Far cry from Frozen, if you ask me.
5. “Sir, your chair is not broken, THOSE ARE MY KNEES STOP
RECLINING PLEASE.”
I feel like reclining is really just an awkward stand off between you
and the person in front of you to see just how long you’re willing to avoid the
invasion of your space.
Don't you realize how much you suck?
6. “How do you say ‘I’m sorry’/’Pardon me’/’Thank you’/’I
need to go to the bathroom’ in [insert language here]?”
Because we all know the awkward nodding, pointing, and
less-than-sufficient facial expressions sometimes just aren’t enough.
7. “I wonder what they’re doing in First Class.”
Because the lives of the rich and privileged are always a
point of interest, especially when they have bed type structures and rumored
access to champagne.
Peasants.
8. “Are we there yet?”
In other news....I'm rooming with a Romanian girl and a German boy (sounds like a bad joke, once you toss in the clueless American, amiright?).
The shower is a three feet by three feet cube, so I think it's safe to say I'll be an amateur contortionist by the time I get done with my two months here. Shaving my legs is no joke.
Annnnnnnd I killed a spider ALL BY MYSELF today in my apartment. And, to me, that's the ultimate sign of maturity.
Annnnnnnnnnd Google is now in German and I am really, really confused.
Just a day in the life.
Gute Nacht from Erfurt,
kendall
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