Grocery shopping, laundry, all other mundane actives--they are easy, right? Commonplace. Universal. Everyone does those things.
But everyone does them differently. Really differently.
And it's confusing.
Like:
Grocery shopping.
They lock the carts up.
Can I unlock one? Do I have to pay for one? What do I do, do I just return it after I'm finished shopping and lock it with the others? Why are they locked in the first place? Where are the grocery baskets? Oh...those aren't a thing? Oh.
The bread slicer.
It's way cheaper to buy a loaf of day old, "freshly" made bread than the pre sliced sandwich bread. It's great. But...
HOW DOES THIS WORK? I don't know. And if I don't know, I sure as heck am not going to try, because a bread slicer involves knives, and blades, and other sharp instruments that could slice me instead of the bread. And the nice little info graph next to it isn't informative enough for me. Or my scared fingers.
Checkout.
Congratulations, you've managed to buy your food and not get yelled at in German!
Stand in line.
Pay for food.
Wait for bagging.
Wait for bagging.
Wait...they don't bag for you? You need your own bag? Oh....
Thank you, Momma Cruise, for giving me a heads up on that one. My handy dandy fold up bag saved my little behind.
Not an option. Therefore: must get food.
Laundry.
I DONT KNOW WHAT THE INFO GRAPH IS SAYING WHY IS THE WASHER SO SMALL WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE FOR ONE LOAD WAH.
Laundry finishes.
Now to dry the clothes....wait.
Dryers don't exist.
Congratulations, you now have wet clothes for the next 3 days while they attempt to dry on your hammock hanging gear cuz you are too cheap to buy a clothesline.
And you thought I was kidding. I wasn't.
Crossing the street.
Help! I need somebody!
The little man is red. But there aren't any cars coming.
So I can go, right?
Right?
FALSE they ticket in Germany. Technically they can in the US as well, and I've seen it happen...like twice...buuuuuuuut...usually you're fine...riiiiiight? Maybe illegal, buuuuuuut......
Eating a bratwurst.
Oh I'm so excited to try a German brat--WAIT.
Where's the bun? It's...tiny.
We've been doing hotdogs all wrong, folks. The Germans know what's up: hard rolls hold your brat, and it's smooth sailing from there. Unless you put too much mustard on it. Then you gotta be watching to make sure it doesn't slide off. There's no bun to protect you on this one.
Oh, and apparently Germans can't say squirrel..but, squirrels can't say German, so I think it's ok. Check it out.
Like I said, my world has been rocked...and it's only week one.
kendall
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