bewusste abkopplung: conscious uncoupling (and other pre-departure preparations)

Is that really how you say "conscious uncoupling" in German?

I don't know.

Do I know what "conscious uncoupling" really even means?

I don't know.

Does anyone except maybe Gwyneth Paltrow and her therapist "transformational teacher" know?

I don't know.

So why apply it to me decreasing my dependency on my phone?

Why NOT, friends. Why not?

Thanks, blogs.post-gazette.com 

And so...The "conscious uncoupling" of my cell phone and me, otherwise known as "stripping a millennial from their lifeline/chief source of entertainment/information".

Duh duh duh duuuuuuun.

My phone wakes me up in the morning. My phone tells me what the weather is like outside. My phone tells me what time it is when I decide "5 more minutes" seems like a good idea. My phone gives me the day's headlines, and warns me of potential "discussions" about politics and governments that may commence over dinner that night. My phone then gives me a glimpse into the lives of my friends as they a) study abroad b) serve as counselors at Jesus camp or c) chill at home taking an overabundance of BuzzFeed quizzes (you know who you are), and then it reminds me to get my butt out of bed to go seize the day and all that.

Basically, my phone is my significant other.

A very well informed, fact filled, slightly creepy stalker-ish significant other.

And so, with two weeks to go until I render my phone almost useless by denying it WiFi, I've been following Paltrow's lead and have been "leaving" my phone behind. (Although home girl is crazy to be leaving Chris Martin, am I right? Have you heard him sing*?)

In public, it's easy. I'm "looking up", I'm people watching, I'm reading signs and menus and talking to people.

At home....not so much.

I do a practice round for the LSAT.
Look at my phone.
Sit on the couch.
Check Facebook (on my phone).
Change the channel.
Check Instagram (on my phone).
Grab a snack.
Check Facebook again (on my phone).

How much changed in that 7 seconds or so that I wasn't on Facebook?
NOTHING.
Absolutely nothing.
And I know nothing will change, but it's like looking in your fridge.

You walk over.
Open the fridge.
See nothing you want.
Walk to the pantry.
Look inside.
Walk back to the fridge.
Look inside, and hope food has mysteriously materialized from behind the broccoli.

You look absurd. 

You know nothing's gonna change, but, dang it, there's something to be said for wishful thinking, right?!

Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.

And so...I've started to get creative about how I disconnect myself from my phone. Like...
1) Charging my phone in another room instead of holding/using it while charging (gasp)
2) Turning the phone off (egad!)
3) Hiding the phone in the couch cushions
4) Keeping my phone downstairs while I am up (I'm not walking down there to get it...)
5) Putting my phone out of my reach while studying
6) Putting the phone in various cabinets and subsequently forgetting which cabinet (thankfully the ringer was on)

And so on. It's working. Kinda.
But then I downloaded the Buzzfeed app, and that's been a challenge to resist....

In other news....
I'm getting close to departure.
I've done very little to prepare.
Great.

As for what I have done....

I bought a camera. A nice camera. With my own money. Like a big girl.

I bought an official Team USA World Cup scarf to show support for our boys while they battle for their lives in the "Group of Death". Our chances are slightly dismal. We play Germany on June 26. Wahoo.

Here's hoping.

I've practiced shooting Boyd with the camera.

Ain't he cute?

And I've pretended to work on my German. I really need to get on that.

^^Me. All throughout Germany. Just with better hair.

Wish me luck! (wünscht mir glück)
kendall

*I don't know why Charlie Brown is in the mix, ignore that and throw in "A Sky Full of Stars", "Us Against the World", and "Talk", much better selections.